Today I came to the realization that perhaps, when it comes to wicked problems, it’s more efficient to understand why they are wicked problems in the first place instead of trying to solve them(wicked problem = amorphous/difficult to solve problems).
Let me rewind- this morning on my AirPods-less walk (I know, I dared to do it again) I was reflecting upon my week and felt like I hadn’t accomplished much in terms of creating or planning. Much of my time intended for creating or planning was spent avoiding the task at hand and I generally felt anxious about creating anything at all — these entries included. When did something that used to bring me such joy become such an emotional burden?
I asked myself “why am I so afraid to create?”
• My efforts are piecemeal. I’m afraid that it won’t be contributing to anything greater.
• It it won’t be good. It won’t be good and that will somehow be an indicator of my self-worth and my capabilities
• People will find out I’m not good and that I’m a fraud
• Im doubtful of my ability to create a system.
None of the reasons had anything to do with my processes, willingness or ability to create and had everything to do with my feelings about creating itself. I’m not sure what to do with this information, at this point because what the heck am I supposed to do with my feelings? I’d like to believe in my capacity more than my ability but it’s always easier said than done.
